


Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

by TheMusicalHermit



Series: Tumblr Transfers [4]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Blackwatch, Christmas, Christmas Cookies, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 18:25:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14878937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMusicalHermit/pseuds/TheMusicalHermit
Summary: Blackwatch was assigned to cookie decoration duty for the upcoming Christmas party. This was, perhaps, not the best decision that could have been made.





	Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

**Author's Note:**

> From the prompt by mod Gloria Writing Central on Tumblr - “Your characters are decorating the Christmas cookies. One of them is trying to make them look nice, the other keeps drawing inappropriate/awful designs on them, and the other isn’t helping at all, but instead blasting Christmas carols and scrolling through their phone.”
> 
> Originally posted on Tumblr 3 January, 2018. Slight edits were made.

Jesse was beyond excited.

It was his first Christmas in a long time spent not on the run or out on a mission. His first Christmas in a long time spent with presents. Spent with an actual Christmas dinner, not just a stolen turkey leg and an undecorated cake. Spent with eggnog, and mistletoe, and holly, and carols, and cookies. Spent with people whom he could trust to never stab him in the back. Torbjörn even was dressed up as Santa Claus. Jesse didn’t believe, never had, but somehow still couldn’t hold back his joyous laughter at the sight. On top of it all, it was snowing. Angela told him that it snowed every Christmas in these mountains, but that didn’t stop him from gaping with wonder out of every window at the falling flakes.

Gabriel had laughed at his enthusiasm until the preparations got divided amongst all the teams. At Jack’s request this done by a wheel turn, as if they were some reality television group. On the bright side, Reinhardt, Angela, and Gérard were in charge of baking. Jesse assumed that this would mean delicious European shit he’d never heard of in addition to what he imagined to be the ‘normal stuff’. Which meant that his enthusiasm was through the roof (as if it hadn’t already been). However Blackwatch was in charge of cookie decorations.

Someone should have stopped them.

Moira had put on some weird Irish music, occasionally using her phone to switch to more normal stuff like “Baby it’s Cold Outside” as she sat in a corner. A pile of untouched cookies laid before her as she leant back with her feet on the table next to them. Jesse gawked at this and, telling her to keep her feet away from Christmas, had added the pile to the already towering one before him and Genji. Then, sitting down with a series of icing tubes and Santa cookies, Jesse gleefully began frosting them in thick layers.

“Hey, Genji, pass me the red, wouldja?” Jesse held out one hand as he licked green icing from the tip of his finger.

The still full tube landed in his palm with a soft plat. “I don’t understand why you are putting so much sugar on these,” Genji muttered as he lightly dusted his own cookies with powdered sugar. “This seems unhealthy.”

Jesse chuckled and shouldered his friend, causing him to spill a large pile of sugar over his stack of cookies. “It’s Christmas, Genji. ‘Tis the season to fix up a whole truckload of shit that ain’t healthy.”

“Damn, Jesse,” Gabriel noted as he worked on a reindeer shaped sugar cookie. “You’re putting actual effort into those.”

Jesse looked down at his work with not a little bit of pride. Oh, wait - this snowman probably shouldn’t have such a wonky nose. “Yep. Ain’t no problem with that,” he said, smoothing away a stray glob of icing with a toothpick. “It’s fun, actually, making 'em look all pretty.”

With a scoff, Moira broke in. “I wouldn’t of taken you for a lad that cares ‘bout that.”

“Yeah, well, at least I’m not playing the same tune over ‘n over again. This is, what, the ninth time I’ve heard _Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer_?”

“I can change it, if you’d like,” Moira said, not looking up from her phone. “Put on something more conducive to frosting biscuits.”

“Is there special music for this,” Genji whispered to Jesse as he extracted his cookies from the mountain of sugar and began to arrange them neatly.

Moira heard him, unsurprisingly. Jesse’s pet theory, which he never told anyone in case it were true, was that in college she had switched her eardrums with those of a bat on a dare. It was the only explanation for her uncannily acute hearing.

“Oh, but o’course.” Her mismatched eyes flicked up at the two of them over a wry grin. “Just like this one here.”

Jesse heard the first few strings and smiled. Finally, something normal -  _Joy to the World_. “Thank you, Moira,” he began just as the lyrics kicked in.

_“Death to the world, Cthulhu’s come!”_

“Aw, c’mon, Moira. No,” he found himself saying instead, hitting the table with one fist. Beside him, Genji’s careful excavation was upset as the table wobbled, leading to the pile of sugar spreading back over the uncovered cookies and into the poor man’s lap.

Gabriel was laughing as he added tiny edible decorations to his fleet of reindeer. “Hey, Moira,” he called out. “I like your music. I find it inspiring.”

Moira gave a small bow, holding out her arms briefly before returning to scrolling through her phone. “There, see lad? Our esteemed leader has spoken.”

Jesse turned to Gabriel, ready to tell him off for daring to share the Irishwoman’s terrible taste in music. But then he saw what his mentor had been doing to his cookies. His poor reindeer cookies. 

“Gabe, what have you done,” Jesse gaped.

The first batch of cookies had acceptable decorations. The very first two were perfect, tastefully done decorations. The next few were... standard. Perhaps a bit shakily done and with little care for colour schemes, but standard. This lasted for about three cookies, one of which had a bite taken out of it. The next few had rude words in Spanish scrawled on them, and it all went downhill from there.

Jesse pointed at the one to which Gabriel was lovingly affixing some crushed candy cane. “Is that a zombie reindeer.”

Gabriel held the cookie up, looking at it as if he hadn’t just added candied brains to the head. “You know, I think it just might be a zombie,” he said. “That or it has a bad case of mange.”

“The green was for trees and scarves,” Genji said, brushing off his legs and pushing the pile of sugar away. “At least, I think it was. Was it?”

Moira shrugged, switching back to the tale of how Santa was a hit-and-run driver.

“You can’t do that to Rudolph,” Jesse yelled at the same time, turning to point accusingly at his commander’s darkly amused expression. “It ain’t decent. Christmas is a time for decency, goddamn it.”

“This isn’t Rudolph,” Gabriel countered, pointing delicately to the cookie’s nose. “See? He doesn’t have a red nose.”

Jesse shouldn’t have thrown the tube of frosting. Gabriel took it as an opportunity to throw up the table as a defence, sending everything flying. Moira simply let her chair swivel around as she continued to scroll through her feed. Genji ended up covered in powdered sugar, shaking it from his hair and muttering softly as he watched his friends try to pelt each other with icing.

“I’m not sure that this is what they wanted when they handed out jobs,” he said to himself. Ducking a glob of icing as he backed slowly out of the door he told Moira, “I think I’ll go see how the rest of the baking is coming along.”

“Alright,” she replied, switching to a rock and roll _Deck the Halls_  cover. “Bring me back some sticky toffee pudding if they’ve got any. We’ll be here for a while yet.”

She gracefully tilted her head to avoid a box of cookies without looking up from her screen as Genji made his escape, Gabriel questioned as to the whereabouts of Jesse’s holiday spirits, and Jesse shouted that he would deck Gabriel’s halls for Rudolph’s sake. Moira snickered, turning up her phone to take a video of their brawl. “Happy Christmas, lads!”


End file.
